Ok, so here this goes. My challenge for myself; write a post without re-writing or just trying to sound like the best “me”. Just typing like I’m having a conversation with the silent person reading this. Hi, I guess I didn’t really plan this very well… where to begin? I know! Explain what I’m talking about. yeah, sometimes I forget that people can’t hear the first half of what I say if I’m just thinking it. Very “absent-minded professor” of me. Hmmm, oh, yes. The explanation. Clothes are my art form. In fact, the original plan was for this blog to be about fashion, but I’ve never been good at deciding stuff. I was that kid in the cereal aisle, sitting on the floor, unable to decide which sugar filled substance I should choose on the rare occasion that my mom said yes to my whiny little pleas. But back to the point. Clothes, fashion in general, is my way of expressing myself and my emotions. It’s just so much fun, especially since I’m kinda quirky and wacky. This sounds so cliche, I know. It’s the truth. I’m honest Abe, but without the hat(I wish! That would be a lot of fun). But I’m also exceptionally serious and have a tendancy to throw myself into projects, ideas and most anything once I decide to try hard. Not much difference when I’m dressing myself in the morning. Somehow I always…. over do it. Too fancy, too ditzy, too dark, waaay too gauzy and flow-y to use a Bunsen burner in AP Chem(there are some funny stories about that). This earned me some comments. I’d heard it all before when I went through my preppy phase in the 6th grade( “Suki, why are you wearing that tie?” “Because I want to!” I was just as witty as I am now  ) but the comments still stung even if they weren’t meant to. The people around made me feel as if, when I was enthusiastic about fashion, that I was overdoing a failed attempt to be like everyone else. I wanted to be bolder, wilder, crazier. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t like everyone else, but I was betraying myself in the process. I mentioned my new anti-mainstream idea to my mom, while looking through a magazine, ” I love this stuff, but everyone is wearing it now. This sucks!”. My mom set me straight, “No it doesn’t! Your fashion style is having a moment right now, but it won’t always. And believe me it’s hard to find clothes when you don’t like the current fashions.” So I sat down to stare at myself in the mirror and think things over. I do this a lot because I think better out loud, so prefer to think in my room where I have my choice of confidants: my cat, my fish, the mirror. I don’t usually choose the mirror because, like in this instance, I end up just making faces at myself. But before I got distracted, I thought up the answer to the question I posed to myself, and the eventual moral to this incredibly long-winded story. The question, why do teenage girls, specifically me, feel the need to dress nicely. Since I could only guess at others’ reasons ( boys? trying to fit in? poor body image?), I took the narcissistic route. I realized I was dressing the way I was to satisfy/defy other’s expectations for me. But what I should have been doing and what I have been doing in the two years since then, is dressing myself for myself. Looking nice or not because of my own personal standards, comfort zones, and enjoyments. That’s the moral. Kinda short for this long, winding story, I know. But there it is: don’t dress for others, dress for yourself. Writing this now, I feel silly. Everyone probably knows that already, maybe because your friends advised you so, your mom was afraid you’d lose yourself to media and peer expectation, or maybe you also talked to yourself. But you don’t know me. I’m just some chick on the internet presumptuously trying to tell you about how to live your life. In some ways though, it’s easier to accept advice like this from a complete stranger. At least that’s my hope. So, when you look at your closet in the morning, or you stare in the mirror and feel you’re not good enough, remember that you are out there being yourself and living life. If you’re doing that, you have just become my new idol. Idea!!! Just occurred to me, I have a new mantra to tell your mirror: I love you, sexy! Today you are going to smile and live your life in a way that will make me proud!

-ttfn Suki

Wracked with joy

And brimming with pain.

A new day

For a new chance

To be the person

You couldn’t be yesterday.

A new day

With a new challenge

Waiting to be completed.

A new day

With new eyes filled with sorrow

Now knowing the pain

That this morrow would bring.

A new day

That is the last

And first

Of its kind.

A new day

Brings light to the world

And ushers in the dark

Of the waking human heart.

White Blouse: Target

White Dress: a yard sale

Owl Necklace: Forever 21

Tan Belt: Calvin Klein

-ttfn Suki

My concert clothes.

Mei going on stage.

The whole band playing! We are awesome if I do say myself.

These were the songs in our set:

Roadtrip Sunrise by Andrew Ardizzoia(2009)

On a Hymnsong of Lowell Mason by David R. Holsinger

Hebrides Suite by Clare Grundman

This is the song we played with the middle schoolers:

The Curse of King Tutankhamun by Michael Story

I would have used the audio of our band playing, but our band director hasn’t compiled it yet and we’re on holiday for the next week.

-ttfn Suki

Satsuki’s Loves

Sugar and hearts in the form of a cupcake? Hell yes!

You know that colour that just makes you feel all happy and twirly? For me that’s orange!

This flute reminds me of my Henry, who has been my flute for about 6 years. Ah, music there’s nothing like it!

Sci-fi with heart and that amazing character named Rory( As we say in Spanish class, “Yo quiero ser señor Pond”)? Yes to Doctor Who!

My dog Hank and all my other pets( Mr. Fishy the fish, Sasha and Taylor the cats, Professor the parrot, and Lovey and the other three new chickens).

My friends.

My family.

You, my viewers.

Have a happy Valentine’s Day and lots of love from my heart to yours. What do you love? Write about it in the comments.

-ttfn Suki

-ttfn Suki